I looked through the paperwork again. A feeling of uneasiness began to swell. Sure enough, I had made a mistake. The realization of my error was now setting in. The facts were clear. My error could potentially cost my client money. I felt a wave of emotion flush through my whole body. I felt terrible. I was heartsick. What should I do? My mind was racing. My heart felt like a lead weight. Any other good that I was currently experiencing was now soured by my present distress. Maybe I should just keep quiet? Should I call my client? “Lord, what should I do”?
What do you do when you face heart-wrenching disappointments? What do you do when your faith is tested? On that day I remember wanting to flee. I wished I could run away. Hiding under a rock seemed attractive. Taking a “time out” out of life sounded so appealing. When I face trials, I will often jump back and forth from “faith” thoughts” to “flesh” thoughts.
Faith thoughts give me courage… flesh thoughts invite me to cower
Faith thoughts lead me to face the facts…flesh thoughts look to finagle the facts
Faith thoughts encourage me to admit my failures…flesh thoughts prompt me to hide my failures
Faith thoughts live in the painful tension of the moment…flesh thoughts seek to numb the pain
Faith thoughts flee to Him for refuge…flesh thoughts seeks relief in something other than Him
Faith thoughts find rest at His feet…flesh thoughts resist Him, vigilant to protect my pride
I’ve been praying, “Lord, what is it you want me to learn about faith”? “What is it you want me to learn about trusting you”? Faith sees what the eyes cannot see. Faith hears what the ears cannot hear. Faith touches where hands cannot reach. Faith tastes real life when life is hard to stomach. Faith is a sense, yet it transcends my senses. Faith is the aroma of heaven yet it can have the stench of death on earth. Faith gives comfort although it is not always comfortable. Faith gives safety, yet it does not always feel safe.
Faith feels, yet it is more than a feeling. Faith flows – it frees - it flies. Faith is unfathomable. Faith cries. Faith is consuming. Faith calls; faith soothes and give me light. Faith watches and waits. Faith lifts my head. Faith is the victory and by it I overcome. Faith assures my hopes and gives grounding to my dreams. It is by faith that I walk and faith convinces me of things not seen. But best of all, faith connects…yes, faith connects me to Him. Faith connects His heart to mine. Faith connects my thoughts to His thoughts. Faith connects my soul to Him and I am whole.
Faith always finds the Father, only to find the Father was never lost. Faith feasts on His mercy and falls at His feet. Faith sees His tears and faith feels His touch. Faith bathes in His blood, gobbles up His grace and finds it is enough. Faith wonders at His wounds and walks in His ways. Faith finds His robe of righteousness so warm and just my size. Faith finds His joy. Faith assures me that I am His delight. Faith elicits his pleasure and hears His words, “You will be alright”.
Faith called that day. The Lord gave me the faith to call my client. But the best call I made that day was to the Lord. Who will you call today?